The attitudes that keep you from having a happy relationship
Our relationships are strongly affected by our expectations. these attitudes and expectations define whether we have a happy relationship or not.
life is the same either. we could have what we once wanted the most and still be unsatisfied. it shouldn’t be hard to remember our own examples to be unsatisfied because our expectations changed. maybe you would be happy if you are given 1000 dollars. but if everybody gets 1000 dollars, you wouldn’t feel that much happiness inside. the difference is your expectations. if you expect to be given some money, you won’t be surprised and happy. if you earn less than others, probably anger or jealousy would be your feelings.
happy relationships come with realistic and rational expectations of yourself, relationship goals, your partner, and correct attitudes and mindsets. here are damaging mindsets that actually holds you back from experiencing a happy relationship
Expecting a relationship to be perfect
As said before, it’s all about your expectations. sadly the perfect relationship does not exist and that’s what you have to accept. but acceptance is not the solution. the key to overcoming the imperfection of human relationships is commitment. if you think of leaving a relationship with the first disagreement on something, you would never have the chance to build your near-the-ideal relationship. yes! you have to put a lot of effort to change yourself and form a relationship and build something alongside your partner that is truly yours.there are always challenges on the way that you can overcome only if everyone understands their deficiencies and try to work toward a better yourself.
You’re not taking enough risks!
When we think of risks, we mostly emphasize on their negative aspects. however, in reality, every success comes after risk. if you’re not willing to risk anything, you can’t find what you want. from that point of view, finding a successful and happy relationship can be stressful and energy-consuming. scaring to find a happy relationship and face with its challenges can be the cause you’re not moving at all! yes, it’s scary to experience failure in a relationship. giving love with no giving back. unfortunately, there are no completely safe paths to happiness. of course there are ways to limit the risks. also, you can evaluate the situation and take only rational risks were reaching your goal is more probable.
Self-awareness and self-esteem
When you decide to engage in a relationship with someone else, you actually considered your self-image to be with him/her. so you’re deciding on your relationship based on your self-image.
it’s not wrong to say you’re acting as how you know yourself. it’s an important factor affecting every aspect of your life. it means if you think you’re not smart, you actually act like it and you make every decision in your life considering you’re not smart. the opposite can be true too. so it’s important to know yourself. improving self-awareness and self-esteem help anyone to have a happy life. if you can’t see yourself worthy of having someone or think the other person is much better than you, you wouldn’t think to start a relationship. and if you’re with someone you think is on the same level as you but actually not, you will try to run away from it sooner or later because you can’t get what you want with it. happy relationship ties with self-esteem and self-awareness. as more you know about yourself and believe in it, the more is your chance to find your love.
There’s no perfect time if you want a happy relationship
Sometimes we’re looking for a perfect time to do something. but the perfect time doesn’t exist. whether it’s prolonged projects and stuff you’re carrying all the way or getting in a relationship, you can’t wait until the time comes.
if you frequently postpone minor cleaning duties at home, do you think you finally do it someday? no! someone else will because he/she can’t take it anymore. a relationship is the same. if you’re waiting for too long for the perfect time, you won’t get a chance because there are always other things that keep your mind busy. there are always career improvements and the next step in something! if you want a happy relationship you should change your schedule, your priorities or maybe your lazy attitude, because that “someday” will never come by itself. it’s the other way around. that “someday” is waiting for you to come.
Disappointment and frustration of having a happy relationship
It is very common among people to experience lots of failed relationships. being with someone only to find it’s not the happy relationship you were looking for is time and energy-consuming. every attempt to find the desired relationship means a huge amount of energy taken away every time. in the long run, it’s quite normal to be frustrated and tired and even scared to try one more. having a happy relationship may seem impossible after all the previous failures. sometimes, failures are too much to take and leave nasty scars behind. that could lead to being pessimistic toward any future relationship and avoid getting in a new one. although it’s understandable, it doesn’t count as a real solution. you avoid being hurt again by taking away your chance of having a happy relationship. it’s ok to spend some time to heal from the last relationship or consider different methods to speed up the process, but removing the retry option is not on the list. if you’re tired or hurt, give yourself a break, and when you feel ready, try to take reasonable risks for getting in a relationship and try your best to learn from them so you can have that happy relationship you expected.